The World Has Gone Mad


Online shopping
is a regular occurrence 
saves me overspending 
on shiny things 
I think I need 
but don’t 
that I think I’ll use 
but won’t 
the magpie syndrome 
has pecked me 
and my eyes catch 
the little gadgets 
that end up at the back 
of a cupboard 
left lonely 
never to be used 
or seen 

Online shopping 
occurred last night 
booked my slot 
told I have fifty-ish minutes 
to fill my basket 
to ensure my slot 
doesn’t get gifted 
to someone speedier 
than I am 
at stuffing my metaphorical 
with items 
trigger happy fingers 
magpie eyes 
not a good combo 
but I felt like 
I was on a digital episode 
of supermarket sweep 
given a deadline 
to navigate the aisles 
before the time is up 
and I don’t get food delivered 
or the next day 
what will I do? Starve. 
or eat my kid. 
I’m joking. 
I’d eat my cat. 
I jest. My pug is much juicier. 
alright, I wouldn’t eat him either. 

I’m putting stuff in my basket 
the normal stuff 
for stews and bbq bakes 
until I was informed 
I couldn’t have pasta – 
there wasn’t any 
I could only have one tin of peas 
And there were no carrots 
I can’t clean my house either 
No side cleaner 
Toilet cleaner 
No cleaning 
Fine by me, 
I hate housework anyway 

I did online shopping 
and it was the cheapest 
food shop 
Thanks to the other magpies
pecking the aisles 
for the food items 
they most likely 
will never use. 
I hope, when the need 
to stock up 
is over 
those who have too much 
will give to those who have too little 
better still, to those who have nothing 
not even a roof over their heads. 

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